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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25349866">baby, let me try</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/antpelts/pseuds/antpelts'>antpelts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>we made a pact [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Pet Names</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 07:08:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,642</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25349866</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/antpelts/pseuds/antpelts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Pet names had never really been on Evan’s radar. Even nicknames weren’t too common, just the occasional shortening of someone’s name. He already found himself awkwardly stumbling through conversations, nicknames seemed to just further throw off his rhythm.</p>
<p>Maybe he’d be able to find something that could fluster Jared as much as Jared was able to trip him up with just one little word. He had the chance now and he might as well use it to workshop a bit, even if he felt exposed sitting there with him.</p>
<p>// some kleinsen fluff, can be read as a standalone</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>we made a pact [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1773904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>baby, let me try</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>fun fact... this was going to be in im the rocks but i forgot to add it so,, its here now</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Pet names had never really been on Evan’s radar. Even nicknames weren’t too common, just the occasional shortening of someone’s name. He already found himself awkwardly stumbling through conversations, nicknames seemed to just further throw off his rhythm. Besides, he wasn’t entirely used to existing in groups and thus, he wasn’t even used to often referring to people by name anyways. Let alone anything other than that. They just never seemed to happen naturally and, honestly, he thought odd nicknames were just something made up for teen movies. Until it happened to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Somewhere along the line he just became ‘duck’ and every time Jared said it he felt himself melt just a little more. He couldn’t help but feel a little special and, well, like something had changed between them - in a good way. ‘Ev’ was nice and all but there was just something about ‘duck’ that made him squirm in a good way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At first it was just sort of funny, it made sense, he took the place of Jared’s rubber duck in listening to his code for debugging. Honestly, at first it almost came across as more of a jab than something sincere. If it were two years ago Evan would’ve immediately have taken it that way, at least. But it just kept happening - it just became a </span>
  <em>
    <span>thing </span>
  </em>
  <span>and it sort of made his heart hurt. It carried an inherent tenderness that he really wasn’t equipped to handle. Especially not when they were awkwardly wading knee deep in that ‘what are we’ territory. Now it just made him feel fuzzy with a few months of official dating behind them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The only problem was that he felt a little behind the curve. Jared’s little nickname doubled as a pet name. He mumbled it sleepily to him when they woke up, he used it to greet him when they grabbed lunch, sometimes he whispered it between kisses. All Evan could come up with was sometimes lamely forcing out a flustered ‘Jare’. He didn’t want to seem impersonal, that was the </span>
  <em>
    <span>last</span>
  </em>
  <span> thing he wanted, but it was just hard for him to wrap his head around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After knowing Jared for so long it almost felt out of line to drop a casual pet name. ‘Duck’ was just different. There was a reason for it before everything. The separation from more traditional terms of endearment just sort of pushed it into its own category. A category that Evan just couldn’t seem to find his own access to, leaving him only with the traditional option. It wasn’t even like ‘babe’ and ‘Jared’ weren’t compatible - or really any pet name - but it just was like he had some mental block. Part of him felt like it wasn’t allowed. Or that he would just sound lame and Jared would laugh at him with that look that he’d seen so often in high school - that ‘wow, that’s pathetic’ one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Which had landed him in the middle of a mess of a conversation. He just wanted to be able to make Jared’s heart flutter the same way his own did every time he heard that little nickname. A little verbal shortcut, a reminder, a ‘you’re mine and I’m yours’.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It just sort of happens,” Jared’s voice cut through the fog over his brain, as it often did, “you can’t really just force it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goose,” Evan blurted out softly, setting his water down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goose?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like.. duck.. goose?” As he said it Evan just crumpled a bit, groaning in embarrassment. “Shit that’s dumb.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Keep going, I wanna hear more.” When Evan looked up he was faced with Jared’s familiar antagonizing grin, eyes lit up in amusement. With a sigh he just looked around. The dining hall was bustling but everyone was caught up in their own worlds. It probably wouldn’t hurt to keep trying. Maybe he’d be able to find something that could fluster Jared as much as Jared was able to trip him up with just one little word. He had the chance now and he might as well use it to workshop a bit, even if he felt exposed sitting there with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um,” he bit his lip, looking up as he tried to think of any plausible thing. He decided to stick with animals. “Pigeon?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Dude,” if Jared wasn’t nearly dissolving into a fit of laughter Evan would’ve described the noise he made a scoff. “No.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Frog.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Evan.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What!” Evan sputtered a bit, rubbing at the back of his neck and hunching his shoulders a little. His face flushed darkly and he looked at anything that wasn’t Jared, included but not limited to: his half eaten apple, Jared’s empty plate, and the little splatter of ketchup Jared had spilled on the table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe not an animal?” The amusement in his voice was beyond apparent and it made Evan smile, despite himself. There was something about the sincerity Jared had been showing in the last few months that just left Evan utterly enamored and hung up on him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what else there- what else I could, um, use?” Lowering his hand he slowly lifted his gaze to meet Jared’s. It made him melt a bit, just like it did every time. When Jared looked at him he felt.. seen. But not like there was a spotlight on him, no, it was much softer. It was more like the rising sun cutting through the blinds, falling over their faces as they slowly woke up together, just looking at each other like they were the only two people left in the world. And sometimes it really felt as if Jared was the only person in the world. He could soothe Evan’s anxieties and coax him down - even in a bustling dining hall he was able to soften for a moment, getting swept up in everything that was his </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You keep lookin’ at me like that,” Jared snorted out a quiet laugh but his slight blush betrayed him. He was absentmindedly folding and unfolding a napkin. He was always doing something with his hands. If Evan weren’t practically choking on his own tongue trying to spit out his thoughts he would’ve reached out to hold them. They always seemed to be comfortably warm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um.. sorry.” Evan gave his own bashful little smile, breathing out a little laugh. “I just don’t.. know what else could- what else I could use.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t look at me.” Jared lifted his gaze, arching his brows with a crooked grin. “This is on you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well.. uh,” Evan hummed and licked his lips, glancing around them, searching for anything. In a brilliant moment he just said the first thing he let his eyes settle on. “Chair.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re not calling me chair.” A beat of silence. “Unless you’re gonna sit in my lap.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my god shut up,” Evan groaned, lowering his head as his blush darkened. He shifted a little in his seat, not wanting to be thinking about sitting in Jared’s lap </span>
  <em>
    <span>now, </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the dining hall. “What about- how.. about uh.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sitting up a bit straighter he kept glancing around, looking for anything that was a least </span>
  <em>
    <span>marginally</span>
  </em>
  <span> less dumb than ‘chair’. They were set up at a little table on the edge of the room, close to the drink area. (Evan would’ve preferred to sit on the complete opposite side but their options had been limited.) He stared at the hot water dispenser and had to fight to keep from just blurting out ‘hot’ because while Jared </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>hot he didn’t care to announce that opinion when packed into a space with hundreds of other students. And especially not right after Jared brought up sitting in his lap. Instead his gaze flitted to the assortment of teas and coffees. Nope. That wouldn’t work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Honey! Shit. Sugar? Honey.” Evan sputtered a bit, letting out a whine as his face went impossibly red. Just his luck that his eyes would land on the sweeteners. In one way or another the universe always had it out for him. Now here he was, ready to melt into the ground in the middle of a packed dining hall.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Except..</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jared barked out a little laugh, eyebrows raising quickly as his face flushed a bright red. He turned his face away slightly, an almost unbelieving grin on his face. Evan just blinked a few times - Jared’s smiles were always contagious and soon he was pulling a sheepish little smile himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Huh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that.. do you..” Letting out a breathy laugh he leaned forward a little bit. “Is that alright?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Evan looked up again he saw Jared nodding, rubbing at his cheeks and nodding. It looked like he finally beat him at his own game and he’d feel a little more triumphant if he wasn’t utterly overwhelmed with softness. After clearing his throat he scooted his chair in a bit, leaning a little more forwards.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, uh, honey.” He couldn’t help but cringe a bit at how awkwardly it fell from his lips. “Um, sorry. Hold.. hold on.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Freakin’ adorable,” Jared mumbled, lifting his head to peek up at him now. His grin was less antagonizing and more blissful.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you ready to- ready to head out,” there was a pause and Evan hummed thoughtfully to himself with a small smile, “honey?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, yeah. You’re so pleased with yourself.” Jared rolled his eyes, face still painted a nice pink. Though, he did reach across the table to lightly brush a thumb over the back of Evan’s hand before pulling away to grab his plate. “Yeah. Let’s go play some fuckin’ Mario Kart and kiss or somethin’.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Evan was beaming at him now, even if his blush was refusing to go down. It was moments like this that showed him it was all worth it. It wasn’t easy, between their history and their own little fears. Every day they put in the effort, they chose each other. And every day Jared proved he was worth it. He realized he was just staring as Jared stood up, pushing his chair in with his foot, only drawn out of his thoughts by Jared’s soft voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“C’mon, duck.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” Evan said quickly, placing his palms on the table and lifting himself up a bit as he met Jared’s gaze. Before he was even done talking his chest was seizing up with panic and his blush now spread to his ears and was practically spreading down to his neck. “Shit I’m sorry that was- that was, I’m sorry. We’re just- we’re just trying to finish eating and then I just,” his hands were moving frantically as he lowered himself back in his chair, pulling his palms off the table. One waved in front of his mouth, basically miming the action of his words slipping out, “I made it all weird now and- I’m sorry I shouldn’t have just- have just said that out of nowhere.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the end of his little rant his voice went a little ragged, and he’d sort of sunk back into his chair, clenching his fists. It was reminiscent of high school and instead of berating himself for slipping back he just tried to remind himself that recovery wasn’t always linear. As he tried to catch his breath he saw Jared grab his plate, stacking it on his own before stacking their cups and grabbing those too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Take a breath,” he said softly, low enough so that the tables around them wouldn’t be able to hear if they were listening. His voice was steady, grounding, “let’s go outside at least, there’s a billion fucking people in here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All Evan could do was nod so quickly he felt a headache building up. Shame burned hot in his chest and he felt his stomach drop. He’d pushed it too far, too fast. Even if they’d known each other nearly their whole lives they hadn’t been dating that long and obviously he broke some boundary. One hand grabbed a fistful of his own shirt and he scampered after Jared towards the exit and dish return, he kept his head down - he must’ve looked like a recently reprimanded puppy. He fought off a flinch as the dishes quietly rattled when Jared set them down, breaths shallow as he followed him out to the lobby.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Breathe,” Jared’s voice reached him again and as if on command he drew in a deep breath, fighting to keep it from immediately rushing out when he felt a hand gently grab onto his own. Fighting off his quickly mounting anxiety he realized they were heading to the elevators, slowly moving away from all the clusters of people dotted around the lobby. It all sort of became a blur and his eyes didn’t refocus until they were already in a moving elevator. It felt painfully pathetic - he hadn’t gotten himself so close to an attack in months and now he was in an elevator trying not to pass out. Again, he repeated to himself mentally - recovery wasn’t linear. Though he couldn’t help but fear that he must have crossed some boundary because he just wasn’t thinking and that left Jared having to take care of him and help him, just like when they were kids. The guilt was nearly overwhelming and everything was so loud and bright-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you listening?” Jared had a way of talking that never ceased to amaze him. A little harsh, a little antagonizing, but altogether something that just commanded Evan’s attention and grounded him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he choked out, rubbing the palm of his free hand on his shirt, “I am. I- I’m, yeah. Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I..” Jared’s brow furrowed a bit and he let out a soft sigh out through his nose. “I do too, for the record. Y’know. Love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The elevator dinged quietly and opened to the fourth floor. This time Evan’s head was spinning for a different reason. Their hands were still connected and Jared had to practically drag him out of the elevator where he’d been stuck in place. The blush on his face was reassuring, though. It made Jared’s words just a little more real.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Evan managed lamely, clearing his throat. He meant to say more but the words wouldn’t come, it left a silence settling over them the short walk from the elevators to Jared’s room. He was so caught up in his head that he barely registered the door being unlocked and opened - but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> vaguely aware that their hands weren’t connected anymore. Everything seemed so far off but so overwhelming all at once.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” he quickly repeated it, jerking his head up to look at Jared who had moved inside and was kicking off his shoes. Evan watched his lips twitch into a grin and that was all it took. Suddenly everything felt a little clearer, his knees weren’t too weak to carry him anymore. Realizing he was standing in the hall he quickly slipped inside, gently closing the door behind him. Now they were both just sort of standing there, looking at each other. “I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Got it out of your system?” Jared’s voice was uncharacteristically soft - he looked almost.. bashful? All the more reason for Evan to close the gap between them, settling his hands on his shoulders. He just needed Jared to know, he deserved to know. So he shook his head and the laugh it received brought a smile to his face easily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I really do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mhm, me too,” with a little snort Jared shook his head fondly, letting his gaze drop. Evan couldn’t bring himself to care if Jared could only vocalize it every so often, or even if he could never vocalize it again. Even the simple confirmation like that was enough. Hell, Jared could just say ‘same’ in response every time and that would be enough. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As long as Jared knew.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>kudos and comments mean a lot</p></blockquote></div></div>
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